Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
this hospital has no fireball
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
