Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
