Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize