Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize
