Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
