it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
