Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
