Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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