just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
