He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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