Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
