I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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