I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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