First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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