I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
