we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
