I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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