no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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