Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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