dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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