the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
