Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
My cat gives me a boner
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
