Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
