Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Can you bring me the toilet please
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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