Christians are straight up FREAKS
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize