I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
