i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You pole danced in your parka.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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