Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
