So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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