JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I see more hoeing in ur future
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize