remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
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