The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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