my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
