Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
