Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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