AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
