he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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