He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize