i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Randomize
