dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
