That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
