wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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