once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Actions speak louder than pants.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
