nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
