So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize