"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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