Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
