That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize