Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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