$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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