yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
