do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
