fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
