Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
