Define "chronic" masturbator.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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