I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
