He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
