My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
