Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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