i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
