I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
