if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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